This is a good laugh!

Thank you Nancy...Keith and I got a good laugh.

 A Retiree's Last Trip to Kroger's 

   Yesterday I was at my local Kroger's buying

a large bag of Purina Dog Chow 

 for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog, and

was in the check­out line  when 

 a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. 

 What did she think... I had an elephant? 

 So because I'm retired and have little to do,

on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, 

I was  starting the Purina Diet again. 

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in

the hospital last time, but that 

 I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an

intensive care ward with tubes coming out 

of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. 

 I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet

and that the way that it 

 works is, to load your pants pockets with

Purina Nuggets and simply eat 

 one or two every time you feel hungry. 

The food is nutritionally complete so 

 it works well and I was going to try it again. (I

have to mention here that 

 practically everyone in line was now

enthralled with my story.) 

 Horrified, she asked if I ended up in

intensive care because the dog food 

 poisoned me. I  told her no, I stopped to pee

on a fire hydrant and a  car hit me. 

 I thought the guy behind her was going to

have a heart attack he was 

 laughing so hard. 

 Kroger's won't let me shop there anymore. 

 Better watch what you ask retired people.

they have all the time in the 

world to think of  crazy things to say. 

Forward this (especially) to all your retired

friends... 

It will be their  laugh for the  day!